Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Welcome to Malili Technopolis!

Join us in a little trivia today and guess where this could be:

No, this is not the latest development of a new community in Dubai. Have a closer look:

No, it isn't the skyline of Hong Kong either.

So what is it then?

This is Kenya! Feel welcome to Malili Technopolis. Malili Technopolis will be a new town in Kenya with facilities to support Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) ventures and a science park, a convention centre, shopping mall, hotels, international schools and health facilities. Malili is located about 60 km southeast of Nairobi. Similar cities already exist in Malaysia (PutraJaya), Panama (Pacifico), the Philippines (Subic-Clark) and China (Shenzhen).

According to Brian Longwe of Chanzo Capital, this project looks like a winner and will definitely not become another 'white elephant' being promoted by the Government. But me, I have some doubts... I still remember all our failed Nyayo projects: Nyayo Pioneer Cars, Nyayo Bus Services, Nyayo Tea Zones, and Nyayo School Milk. So are we headed for something similar? Hopefully not, but maybe yes. The main story in the January issue of The Anchor (written by Martin Masai) for example insinuates that a lot of theft and corruption may already be involved in the project. The International Finance Corporation (IFC) has been hired for advisory services to the project, but they don't have a very nice track record, so I am not sure whether that's good or bad.

In the same technology sector, but on a completely different scale, another very interesting project has just been launched: iHub: Nairobi's Tech Innovation Hub. iHub is an open space for technologists, investors, tech companies (and hackers, sic) in the Nairobi area. It is a tech community facility with a focus on young entrepreneurs, web and mobile phone programmers and designers. It is part open community workspace (co-working), part investor and VC hub and part incubator. Unlike Malili Technopolis, I really believe in this project: it is simple, realistic, and addresses a real need. And yes, iHub may be small, but at least it has enormous potential to create real impact. iHub will open on March 3rd, 2010 and there's currently a design contest going on for the best logo for iHub.

What do you think of these two very different, almost contrasting, projects? Will they succeed?

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Only in Kenya!

There is this cartoon video called "Only in Kenya" which I saw a couple of years ago and I just stumbled upon it again now. The problem with the cute song is that it gets stuck in your head within a few seconds of watching it for the first time. Aaarghhhhh, I wonder whether I will be able to catch any sleep tonight... So here it comes, only in Kenya. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.

Yes, I know we don't have tigers here in Kenya. But nevertheless, the song has even reached Japanese schools:

And the vibe has turned people in other parts of the world crazy as well:

So come on Kenyans, let's sing along, it's a viral song!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Great news for bright but needy students!

Palmhouse Foundation provides an opportunity for bright and talented children from families that are financially challenged by diverse circumstances and most of whom have attended poorly equipped rural primary schools. Palmhouse Foundation is a charitable trust that sponsors deserving students to help them realize their dreams, transform their lives and that of society and mentors them through life. They will be carrying out a nationwide recruitment to select needy and deserving students who have been admitted to a National School or have scored over 390 Marks in the 2009 Kenya Certificate of Primary Education (KCPE). Applicants with fully completed application forms should attend interviews in their Primary School Provinces on the dates, venues and time indicated below.

Application forms are available from 15th January 2010 at any of the Kenya Commercial Bank (KCB) branches countrywide on presentation of an admission letter.
Contact: Tel: 020 2304444 / 0716 065409
Email: hope@palmhsefoundation.org

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Would you like to see a naked warrior or a prostitute I have slept with?

I agree, many people already have so many misconceptions about Kenya and Africa:
  • "What country are you from? Africa?"
  • "Do people in your country live in trees?"
  • "You eat worms and lots of bugs, right?"
  • "You are from Kenya, so you are Masai, right? Why do you only drink blood and milk?"
The list is endless, but I think you get the point, since most of us have been facing this type of ridiculous questions all too often.

But I need some nice new exciting characters to spruce up my boring blog. And yes, they may be African or Kenyan stereotypes. Kenyan literary critic Binyavanga Wainaina's excellent satirical piece "How to Write About Africa" offers some good advice in this regard:
Your African characters may include naked warriors, loyal servants, diviners and seers, ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour. Or corrupt politicians, inept polygamous travel-guides, and prostitutes you have slept with.
Which character do you think I should write a blog post about? A naked warrior? A prostitute I have slept with? Any others?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How (some) tourists discuss the qualities of our (innocent?) Kenyan girls

I was shocked today. I discovered this disgusting website which aims at facilitating the exchange of information between men who are looking for sex with women. The bad news is that Kenya is featured prominently.

A certain Satyr9 posed the following question:
Maybe I am just computer-retarded, but I do not get how to find women in Nairobi (or anywhere else) through Facebook. I have searched by city, etc., but the best I do is find random women for whom there is no info available (as they are not my friends).

Do you simply write to every woman who appears and see if they write back?


And a more experienced Jamjam222 responded:

I shouldn't do this, because I really don't want normal Kenya girls to be exposed to all the naughty mongers out there.ha ha ha!

So, any girls you guys meet through this advise you make sure you guys treat them nicely. That's the deal.

There are so many pretty girls on Facebook you wont believe it.
Just find one girl in Kenya, and then search through her friends. Add the ones you find attractive. Then you go trough the attractive girls friend lists as pretty girls normally have prettier friends than normal girls. Add more girls.

Keep doing this until you are happy with your selection. It should take you a couple of hours of home work. It's really worth it if you are looking for the true GF feeling.

50-80% will accept you friend request guaranteed. Then you send them a private message: "Thanks for the add sweetie! I saw your profile pic and you look great, I just wanted to get to know you. Hope you don't mind. Love, M. Onger." To increase odds of her accepting your request, send a nice message with your friend request.

Then just wait and see what happens. 100% have replied enthusiastically on this.

Don't write much on their walls or comments to the pictures, as many of the girls don't like their social net to know their business. Remember, we have all our acquaintances on Facebook, and so do they.

Then you may chat on Face. Ask about Nairobi or Mombasa. Ask how it's like. Restaurants, bars, clubs, movie theaters etc. Wait for her to suggest that she can show you around. You say: "Cool, but then I want to buy you dinner at your favorite restaurant."

Don't worry about the cost, Carnivore is the most expensive, and that sets you back less than 2000 bobs.

Make sure you get lots of drinks to go with the food. She knows the score, and she wants to keep you while your in Kenya. You'll get laid on the first date 90% of the time. If not, ask her out or invite her to visit your hotel the next day (to come up to the room before the new date. Make up a story for why she must come to the hotel, she will buy it.) and I guarantee you will score.

Remember; these girls are not WGs. Treat them nicely. They just look for an adventure with a well behaved white guy. She will likely hope for more, but wont give you a hard time. Is she does, let her go and find a new one. NEVER offer money for sex, unless they ask. Give gifts, take them out shopping clothes, taxi money etc. Be smart, make her feel good. She doesn't think she is selling her pussy. Never, ever make her feel that way. It will blow up in your face and you will make a lovely girl feel very low.

This advice is not really for the true monger, as it takes a little more effort than showing up in a club and selecting a WG. But the reward are much greater in my opinion.


Consider this my Christmas present to the nice guys here ;)

My GF is one of the prettiest girls you will ever see. Amazing body and face and a personality to go along with it. I'm taking her home soon. She is one of the most famous models in Kenya and have featured in various medias. Tv, billboards etc. She is a 9 out of 10, and that is on a model scale not how we would rate working girls.

I set my friend up with one of her model friends. He is not complaining lol :D

If I am in Kenya and meet any of you, and think you will go down nicely with her friends I would surely set you up. But I would be screening you for certain qualities. If you screw up it comes back to me.
OK, if you find this disturbing behavior quite normal and are not yet upset by the above, have a look at this, and let me know what you think. Is this great advice for tourists or are there ways of attracting 'better' tourists to our country?