Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Like a Virgin


i made it through the wilderness
somehow i made it through
didn't know how lost i was
until i found you
Not all is lost after you have been 'touched' by the Finger of God. You can now get your virginity back for only Ksh 1,740/- (about US$25). I found this interesting product called 'Youth Back Plus' for sale just like any other product at Nakumatt, one of Kenya's major supermarkets.

Youth Back Plus promises to be the complete vaginal solution, nature's gift for women. Its formula is composed of natural herbs and sea compounds. 'Virginity' is restored because of the tightening of the vaginal muscles and the return of elasticity.

Nakumatt: You Need It, We've Got It! Esther Arunga, please note.

What a product! Too good to be true! Let's have a look at the advertisement:
Youth Back Plus will leave your partner unbelievably happy with a renewed sexual satisfaction. Youth Back Plus can help restore and/or keep the family from breaking up. It prevents menstrual pains and keeps women away from cervical cancer as well as removes all the impurities from the female organ. It has healing ingredients so powerful that in spite of all sorts of surgical removals and lacerations, sensitivity can be restored bringing the complete womanhood. This product is highly recommended after childbirth delivery to undergo quick healing and to remove all impurities in the genital tracts and for those who wants to bring back the experiences of the youth.
Question to the ladies: Have you ever tried to get your virginity back? No, I don't know whether this amazing product would work on men as well, and I haven't tried it out. And no, my girl doesn't need this either. Why would she want to be a virgin anyway?

And now, as an added bonus to this blog post, here are the video and lyrics of that sweet Madonna song from 1984 entitled 'Like a Virgin' for your reference and further reflection:


i made it through the wilderness
somehow i made it through
didn't know how lost i was
until i found you
i was beat incomplete
i'd been had, i was sad and blue
but you made me feel
yeah, you made me feel
shiny and new
like a virgin
touched for the very first time
like a virgin
when your heart beats
next to mine 
gonna give you all my love, boy
my fear is fading fast
been saving it all for you
'cause only love can last
you're so fine and you're mine
make me strong, yeah you make me bold
oh your love thawed out
yeah, your love thawed out
what was scared and cold 
like a virgin
touched for the very first time
like a virgin
with your heartbeat
next to mine
oooh, oooh, oooh
you're so fine and you're mine
i'll be yours 'till the end of time
'cause you made me feel
yeah, you made me feel
i've nothing to hide
like a virgin
touched for the very first time
like a virgin
with your heartbeat
next to mine
like a virgin, ooh, ooh
like a virgin
feels so good inside
when you hold me
and your heart beats, and you love me
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
ooh, baby
can't you hear my heart beat
for the very first time?

14 comments:

willpress said...

That poster looks HUGE.. I think they want people to notice this product. The prospect of being a virgin may be cool but getting the whole psychological state of being a virgin is impossible to recover... women should have different aims post the sexual debut like getting an orgasm for example!!

acolyte said...

Call me a male hoe but I wouldn't touch a virgin with a 20 foot stick. Having to school someone in the game and help them overcome all their misconceptions is just waaaaaaay too much work!

Andrea Bohnstedt said...

Virginity is wildly overrated. And this lovely essay says it doesn't actually exist in the biological sense:
http://www.harpyness.com/2010/02/22/hymenology-101-a-guest-post-by-commenter-pedimd/

Acolyte, I'm with you. Does it say 'teacher' on my business card??

potenta said...

i guess i am a virgin in one way...i've never had an orgasm :(

I'm a 41 year old woman and althow i enjoy having sex with my housband, i'm disapointed for the fact that i've NEVER had an orgasm. I hear that for many women it just comes natural , but sadly it isn't my case.

Althow i know many women have the same problem, and my comment is of no surpise to anyone, i want to do my best and find a solution.

I've been thinking that maybe my housband isn't as tender and loveable as he should, but curiosity has never pushed me so far as to cheat on him with another man. Should i? Could change be a solution?

I've tried all sorts of pills and aphrodisiacs, but nothing so far...

If you have any advise, please reply to this comment. I've just started posting for a couple of days, so i'll be checking in often :)

Thank you!

Potenta

Anonymous said...

Dear Potenta,

First up, Orgasms do not come naturally they have to be induced. for some it's faster than others, either way to make a LOOOONG story short... prolong your foreplay and ask or rather guide your husband to your pleasure spots and ask him to concentrate on that.. also Durex lubricant actually increases the pleasure for not just him but for you as well.
It has a lot to do with patience from him and a desire to make you feel good... If that lacks then find a sexual substitute Prefarably a younger man...They understand these things :-)

Solidfreshdope

Anonymous said...

"I've tried all sorts of pills and aphrodisiacs, but nothing so far..." You need Youth Back Plus its the Oooooh!!! in orgasm

Anonymous said...

Potenta
At 41, yes I had to include that, you are not Susan Boyle if you havent experienced it, hope you have a happy life dont bother. What were the two of you doing while trying to get to know each other, on serious note enjoy each other without having sex/penetrative massages, baths or still just work with me, hey you want an orgasm I can deliver simple.

That Youth back they just need to advertise as a cure for/preventive measure for cancer with bonus buy one get a bunch free special deal they will fly. Fascination with virgins stopped when I realised they have stalkerish tendencies those bitches wont stop tracking your ass down and messing with your current/main chic.
RafikiKenya seem to imply you dont need it.......... They say it keeps family together hope she doesnt read what you said....lol

Mburu Kamau said...

Methinks, if she lost her virginity, there is no need to reclaim it back. Once gone, forever it gets lost.

I only wonder, is there a male-virginity retaining stuff? I mean for real!

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This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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Herbal Earth said...

Someone was once selling Extra Virgin Olive Oil to restore virginity..LOL..