Saturday, December 27, 2008

What's wrong with (most) Kenyan men?

We all know that (most) Kenyan men have never been experts at treating their ladies in the right ways. And after Obama's win, it appears that the situation has only gotten worse, since most Kenyan men are mistakingly assuming their genes are so popular that there is no need for any additional efforts from their sides. Today's article in the Saturday Nation entitled "What your spouse wants" and this post from Vint Falken encouraged me to develop the following draft curriculum for a training which I would like to offer in 2009:

Two-day practical training seminar for Kenyan men - proposed programme
Note: Due to the complexity of the content, each seminar will accept a maximum of eight participants. The seminar will last for two days, and topics covered include:

Day one:
  • Toilet rolls - do they grow on the holders? Round table discussion.
  • Differences between a laundry basket and the floor. Practicing with different types of laundry baskets.
  • Dishes and cutlery - do they levitate/fly to the kitchen sink by themselves? Debate among a panel of experts.
  • Losing the remote control. Help line and support groups.
  • Learning how to find things. Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - open forum.
  • Beauty does not equal booty. An introduction to common English spelling mistakes.
  • Sex: we can't all be perfect, but we can at least avoid the worst moves of all times. An update from the Kenyan blogosphere.
  • How to do away with unrealistic expectations? Case study: coming home stinking of Tusker and expecting your partner to cuddle and act all-loving.
Day two:
  • Empty milk cartons: do they belong in the fridge or in the bin? Group discussion and role play.
  • Are Kenyan women too choosy or are their standards realistic? Group reflection exercise.
  • HealthWatch: Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. PowerPoint presentation.
  • Real men ask for directions when lost. Real life testimonial from a man who did.
  • Is it genetically impossible to stay quiet as she tries to find parking in Nairobi's CBD? Driving simulation.
  • Living with adults: Differences between your mother, your partner and your "she's just a friend". Online class and role play.
  • How to be the ideal shopping companion? Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques and info-session on the latest credit cards.
  • It is not uncool to show that you care: remembering important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Bring your calendar, Blackberry or iPhone to class.
  • Taking control in a relationship. She may be a control freak, but really, she wants you to be THE MAN, so step up already.
  • Getting over it. Learning how to live with being wrong all the time.
  • How to put the toilet seat down. Practical demonstration.
I am looking forward to your esteemed opinions in order to improve on this draft curriculum. I am also still looking for several resource persons to facilitate some of the sessions, so let me know if you are an expert in any of the above or other topics I may have missed. Dates and venues will be confirmed later. Group bookings and special deals will be made available.

17 comments: said...

Good blog.

pink m said...

hehehehe. Nice one. Mine
- Dating 101. Chivalry is dead, or I'm in the wrong place if you expect the lady to pay for the first lunch. The fact that she offered doesn't mean you say yes.
- It's not uncool to show that you care
- Acting warm and cold and it's effect on relationships (don't blame her if she thinks you're an indecisive fool and leaves)
- Take control in a relationship - She may be a control freak, but really, she wants you to be THE MAN, so step up already.

Dad Mzungu said...

I want to know why you think this only relates to Kenyans?
This course could be a big success in the UK and USA as well - brlieve me - and I'm a man


Rafiki said...

@ carlos: Wow, how did you find us all the way from Portugal? Next time, please bring us some Porto. Sandeman will be fine.

@ pink m: Thanks a lot for your excellent suggestions. I have updated the draft curriculum and I have also included links to your exciting posts "the worst moves of all times" and "of standards". Would you be interested in becoming one of the resource persons?

@ Dad Mzungu: You are very right, many of these things seem to be universal. We are just trying to contextualize it to the Kenyan situation (some people claim that Kenyans have "peculiar habits"). Given your wide experience in Kenya and the UK, would you be interested in doing something on "Are all men the same?" - bringing us something on the international perspective?

pink m said...

Yes of course. I'd love to be a resource person! :)

Rafiki said...

@ pink m: OK, but please don't overcharge me like you are doing with Big ;-). We want to keep to course affordable to as many Kenyan men as possible...

val said...

Haha....where can I sign some of the men I know up for this course..believe me..they need it!!!

Rafiki said...

@ val: We will work on a registration form as soon as we have finalized the curriculum and the arrangements for the resource persons, venues etc. How many men would you like to sign up? Maybe two?

BOMSEH said...

Rafiki, did you just forget the toilet seat age old debate? hehe, as for Pink M, a meeting was held to discuss ur male bashing post, expect a counter post soon.

Rafiki said...

@ Bomseh: Welcome to Rafiki Kenya! How could I forget the toilet seats? I have added a session on that.
Looking forward to your counter post... do we need a course for Kenyan women as well???

Dad Mzungu said...

I am not sure that I have the qualifications to comment on "Are all men the same?", but I will definitely give it some thought.
As for the toilet seat issue, I have yet to see a toilet seat in Kenya - perhaps I 'live' in the wrong places?
Comments please.

Rafiki said...

@ Dad Mzungu: Thanks for volunteering to do some research on the "are all men the same?" question.
No toilet seats in Kenya? Do you usually stay in remote places? We have quite a few toilet seats here in Nairobi and I have seen several of them across the country. I should do a post on Kenyan toilets soon.

Shiko-Msa said...

I couldn't possibly have missed this debate now could I? I'm still reeling from post-holiday hangovers. will be back.

KK said...

Brilliant! I could be convinced to facilitate the online one - How to live with adults:)

Rafiki said...

@ Shiko: Welcome back. Hope you enjoyed your holidays as much as I did.

@ KK: You would be most welcome, that slot was still to be filled. Any experience with online videoconferencing or learning management systems?

Dy said...

This Topic always makes me laugh every time! LOL...

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