My Bigfoot Carbon Footprint

US President Barack Obama yesterday boosted hopes of a global climate deal in Copenhagen next month saying the world had moved closer to a “strong operational agreement” on climate change. Closer to home, our own Prime Minister Raila Odinga has said Kenya would work to restore tree cover and explore renewable energy options as its contribution to combating climate change ahead of next month's climate summit in Copenhagen.

With all the current buzz about climate change in the lead-up to the Copenhagen summit, I decided to calculate my own 'carbon footprint'. Your carbon footprint is the sum of all emissions of CO2 (carbon dioxide), which were induced by your activities in a given time frame. Usually a carbon footprint is calculated for the time period of a year.

Many carbon footprint calculators are available on the web, but not all of them are relevant to the Kenyan situation. Your carbon footprint is partly determined by the country in which you live. The reason is there are different standards depending on your country of residence and different units of measurement. And different countries have varying carbon footprints for electricity generation.

I used this carbon footprint calculator powered by Carbon Footprint. The results are shocking!

• My footprint is 11.80 tonnes per year
• The average footprint for people in Kenya is 0.31 tonnes
• The average for the industrial nations is about 11 tonnes
• The average worldwide carbon footprint is about 4 tonnes
• The worldwide target to combat climate change is 2 tonnes

When I looked at my carbon footprint graphic, it reminded me of the legendary but boring Bigfoot movies like Harry and the Hendersons. Yes, my carbon footprint is bigger than the average footprint for people in Kenya, bigger than the average worldwide carbon footprint, and even bigger than the average for the industrial nations. Since we are not talking about the size of my manhood here - which wouldn't be a cause for alarm - but about the size of my carbon footprint, something needs to be done about it here and now.

So now I will have to start reducing my contribution to the carbon emissions that are destroying our earth. Apart from reducing my carbon footprint, I should also offset my carbon emissions. In Kenya, this is now fucking easy, since you can just Swear For A Tree, thanks to @Kahenya and @afromusing. So go and calculate your carbon footprint now, try to reduce it, then swear away, and tell me what the hell you think about this great tree planting initiative.

Oh, and if you're bored, you can always watch a Bigfoot movie or read a Bigfoot story to your kids:

Sexy veggies

Yes, I know we have all been enjoying plenty of nyama choma parties after I revealed this innovation. But, now it turns out that all the roasted meat is not good for you after all. Research has discovered two cancer-causing (carcinogenic) byproducts associated with barbecuing red meat, poultry, lamb, pork, and fish.

So, I am becoming a vegetarian (for one week). No meat, and more fruits, nuts and veggies. Cool, not? It's easy in Kenya, we have so many good fruits and veggies readily available here, even organic ones. Companies like Green Dreams produce fresh vegetables and fruits in an organic way and have a passion for healthy living.

What, you find fruits and veggies boring? Have a look at this picture then:

Yes indeed, tomatoes are good for you! Tomatoes contain awesome amounts of lycopene, thought to have the highest antioxidant activity of all the carotenoids.

And what about this PETA ad which features a bevy of beauties who are powerless to resist the temptation of veggie love? It was deemed too hot for the Super Bowl. NBC rejected the video because of concerns over a woman "licking pumpkin, touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli, pumpkin from behind between legs, rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin, screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy), asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina, licking eggplant, and rubbing asparagus on breast..."

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

The video got me interested in doing some practical research into this myth or fact that vegetarians make better lovers. So I am trying it out this week, starting tomorrow.

Am not sure though whether I would need to have a vegetarian partner for maximum effect... Anyone out there who has tried this out at home? Please leave your comment.

Welcome to the ICC Detention Centre

Kenyans have been eagerly awaiting the visit by the International Criminal Court (ICC) Chief Prosecutor Moreno-Ocampo. This visit could become an important step towards ending impunity in Kenya of the perpetrators of the post-election violence.

I explained earlier why I would love to go to The Hague. But that is of course because I would not be detained there. But I also don't understand why the key suspects of the post-election violence are fearing the ICC.

Today, I had a look at some images of the ICC Detention Centre, and I must say the place doesn't look too bad in comparison with our local centres here in Kenya. On the left of this post, you can see a standard room, the gym where detainees are offered training with a physical education instructor, and the library and spiritual room at the ICC Detention Centre (images courtesy of ICC).

The ICC endeavors to ensure the mental, physical and spiritual welfare of the detained persons within an efficient system of detention, with consideration to their cultural diversity and their development as individuals.

In achieving this aim, the daily programme of the Detention Centre allows the detained persons access to fresh air, recreational time and sports activities. They have access to library books, news and television. Detained persons have access to computer facilities to work on their own cases. If needed (dear ICC, rest assured that this is indeed needed for the Kenyans who will be detained there), detained persons are given the opportunity of computer training. Following the mandate of the ICC, as an e-Court, each detained person has a computer in his/ her cell, which is linked to one specific computer at the Court; only his defence has access to that computer. The Defence can upload caserelated material which the detained person can access and make comments on.

Acknowledging the right of a detained person to privacy with his/ her Defence; and recognising the importance for him/ her to communicate freely with the consular or diplomatic representative of his/ her country of origin; a detained person is entitled to privileged communication with persons falling under those two categories. This denotes that such communication shall not monitored be by the Detention Centre staff. In addition, the detained persons are entitled to visits by a minister or spiritual advisor of their religion or belief, for which an area within the Detention Centre is allocated.

With a view of maintaining family links, specific attention is given to visits by the family and visits by the wife (note to Kenyans: not 'wifes') or partner of the detained persons; and may take measures to assist the family in the necessary procedures thereof, if required.

Detained persons are provided with suitably prepared food that satisfies in quality and quantity the standards of dietetics and modern hygiene. Additionally, detained persons are allowed to cook for themselves (dear ICC, please note that Kenyan high level officials don't know how to cook!); they can purchase additional items, listed on the shopping list of the Detention Centre (is there ugali on that list?), as available, in order for them to adjust the meals provided to them, according to their taste and cultural requirements. However, Charles Taylor's lawyers have complained that the food which is served is completely eurocentric and not palatable to the African palate.

The Red Cross has unrestricted access to the Detention Centre. Its delegates pay unannounced visits to the Detention Centre, with the purpose of examining the treatment of the detained persons, their living conditions and their physical and psychological conditions, in conformity with widely accepted international standards governing the treatment of persons deprived of liberty.

Kenya in darkness - but still Tweeting

Last night, a national power outage plunged Kenya into darkness. Just like with Julie Gichuru's pregnancy, you heard if first on Twitter. Kenyan Tweeple quickly started using the hashtags #kenyaindarkness (launched by @mountainous) and #KPLC, so they could follow the latest events (if they still some had battery life left on their phones or laptops). Here are some of my favorite tweets related to the blackout. Most of them were very funny, making this disturbing event quite enjoyable. Some Kenyans were just making the best out of it (having sex, making babies), but others were suspecting political interference...

kenyanpundit Maybe KPLC have gotten into the American thing aka Obama mania, this is celebrating Halloween, KPLC style #kenyaindarkness

mojizzzle #KPLC should stand for Kenya Please Light Candles

kenyanpundit Wonder how many of my .ke friends will be having babies 9 months from now... #kenyaindarkness

mountainous Mark your calendars cos 9 months from today you can expect to be sending out very many baby cards #KPLC #FAIL

MwaiKibaki I have constituted a commission of inquiry led by Samuel Gichuru to look into the nationwide blackout. No stove will be left untouched #KPLC

ek13photos Now that the lights are back in KE, I wonder how many people were caught in compromising positions... again no pun intended #kenyaindarkness

bobgamz KPLC could be doing couples a favor...what with the cold weather...*did i just say that?*

faithcnn Apparently, there's a blackout in Kenya -- the whole country has gone dark. #kenyaindarkness

iAlen Or maybe Kibaki used to #kenyaindarkness gap to visit Wambui in Muthaiga. If Roocey gets wind of this? heh...srap srap srap

damiancook Q: What did Kenyans use for lighting before they had fire and candles? A: Electricity #kenyaindarkness

damiancook #kenyaindarkness Actually unless Vision 2030 is Night Vision we ain't gonna see much

mountainous There was an article today in the newspaper about Nuclear power in Kenya but I ignored it sounded like fiction #kenyaindarkness

ek13photos why is everyone talking about babies with this #kenyaindarkness business???

mountainous when the power goes off Kenyans reach for their phones and head to twitter and facebook #kenyaindarkness

RafikiKenya #kenyaindarkness we should do this more often, great atmosphere, super sex

ArcherMishale I think @lucykibaki turned off the national grid. Woman, your blowdryer switch is the other one! Washa stima! #blackout

mountainous No loud music from the club across the road #Kenyaindarkness

artsim Guess who is not complaining of the #kplc nationwide blackout :) sitting by the pool under a full moon enjoying the sea breeze *bliss*

nymou So whoever presented th news tonight must've felt like an idiot knowing no one's watching. #kplc #fail

kahenya I hope I am wrong but @PaulaKahumbu might be right. I think there is something political going on. For real.

ArcherMishale There's a coup in progress! #nairumours #kenyaindarkness #KPLC

bobgamz Or maybe they are ferrying out some P.E.V suspects under the cover of darkness?...u may wake up to a new Kenya tomorrow...

paulakahumbu That wasn't 22 minutes you bastard computer....ZZZzzz catch u all when #blackout is over be safe

At least some people were lucky to have some battery life left on their phones and laptops, but in order to be prepared for future events, I would now like to launch the following idea: Could we have a Twitter version for candles as well? What do you think?

Shocking: Kenyan teens are having sex!

Kenyan teens are having sex. And apparently they have no clue on how to go about it.

A report by the Nairobi-based Centre for the Study of Adolescents (CSA) reports that 40 percent of girls and 50 percent of boys reported having had sex before their 19th birthday, a significant minority reported having sex with more than one partner in the previous six months. --->>> Those are the reported figures, so what are the real figures?

The report also confirms that the youth are having sex but they lack vital information on sexual and reproductive health.

Sexual education in schools is watered down. What we have is information that barely cratches the surface, and in the end the young people are left with many gaps to be filled. They are curious and what they do is fill the gaps through talking to friends and this leads to experimentation with wrong information. --->>> Do we need sex education in our schools, or should our teens just experiment, or both? I had both, and I am still doing fine.

A separate study by CSA in 2008 recorded an estimated 5.5 million girls between ages of 15 to 19 years give birth annually in Kenya --->>> Do we even have so many girls in that age group in Kenya? Must be something wrong with the figures here?

The report further indicated this same group has more than one million unsafe abortions each year. --->>> Please, can we all become gay? Problem solved.

Forty-seven percent of the teens surveyed either had a child, were pregnant, or had undergone an abortion by age 20. --->>> 47 percent? Shocking!

Photo courtesy of SuperStock.com

Kenya's Next Top Model - 2012 season

Kenya's Next Top Model is a reality television show in which a number of people compete for the title of Kenya's Next Top Model and a chance to start their career in the modeling industry.

Here's the line-up for the 2012 season:

It looks like this may become a disappointing season. What do you think?

Nyama choma - with compliments from Nakumatt

The standard blow-out feast for most Kenyans is a huge pile of nyama choma (roast meat). And sometimes you just get a craving for some nice nyama choma, but you don't have the right equipment readily available, so you have to become innovative:

Innovation courtesy of Nakumatt. Note that the trolley was not destroyed in this case.

Would this work with an Uchumi trolley as well? Please share your experiences!

Our ladies are oh so special !

Ladies, you don't need a man that drives an X6, M3, Land Rover, Mercedes or Hummer to feel special...

This is simply Africa where anything is possible!

Thank you very much for your attention.

Start your business in Narok instead of Nairobi

The Doing Business in Kenya 2010 report was launched yesterday, just on the heels of the annual Doing Business 2010 report. Globally, Kenya ranked 95 out of 183 economies. One of the reasons it takes longer to start a business in Kenyan localities is the many steps required: 3 more than the Sub-Saharan Africa regional average and 3 times as many as in Senegal.

Narok, Malaba and Thika lead the overall ranking on the four indicators measured in the report (starting a business, dealing with construction permits, registering property, and enforcing contracts). Isiolo, Nairobi and Kilifi lag behind other localities (see Table). Nairobi has the fastest time and lowest cost for starting a business, at 34 days and 36.5 percent of income per capita. But it lags behind other localities in the time needed to register property or enforce a contract through the courts.

The process to obtain construction-related permits and clearances is easiest in Narok, Nyeri and Malaba, but more cumbersome in Isiolo, Thika and Mombasa. Obtaining all permits to build a warehouse and hook it up to utilities takes less than 70 days in Narok, making it the 15th fastest location worldwide, the same as Denmark.

Registering property is fastest in Mombasa, where it takes 23 days (figure 1). In Isiolo, a special transfer tax levied by the County Council makes registering property almost as expensive as in the Syrian Arab Republic, the world’s most expensive place to register property.

Resolving a commercial dispute is speedy in Malaba, because the courts in Bungoma, where these are heard, are strict on adjournments. As a result, the 11 months needed to enforce a contract in Malaba are less than the OECD average (15.5 months).

Doing Business in Kenya 2010, the first subnational report on Kenya, suggests Kenya could improve its ranking by 17 positions simply by adopting best practices already in place in the 11 Kenyan localities covered in the report:

"If a hypothetical city, 'Kenyana', were to adopt the best practices already in place in Kenya, its ranking would improve in all four areas of regulation that are the focus of this study, putting 'Kenyana' in 78th place among the 183 economies measured in the global Doing Business report. That is 17 positions better than Kenya’s current global rank (represented by Nairobi)."

Here is the full 77-page report - which includes very valuable lists of all procedures to go through when starting a business in Kenya - plus the press release and a Powerpoint presentation. Just download, you won't regret it, it is good information.

If you would like to thank me for sharing this, please leave a comment.

Julie Gichuru pregnant again - and you heard it a long time ago on Twitter via @RafikiKenya

Julie Gichuru is pregnant again, excellent news! That will be her fifth child, a real African woman! And you heard if first on Twitter, thanks to @RafikiKenya. See some of the tweets of the past month below on this topic:

mountainous Thanks for that info dude, I am glad to note you heard it first on Twitter through @RafikiKenya some time back.
about 7 hours ago from web in reply to mountainous

nzembi @mountainous By the way that #juliegichuru polka dot dress is nice.about 10 hours ago from mobile web

mountainous I was about to diss the polka dot dress on Julie Gichuru but now I realise its a Maternity Dress so I have to retract #citizenlive
about 10 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop

bankelele CitizenTV news anchor julie gichuru confirms she is expectant as she reads a story on teen-pregnancy during the sunday nightly news
about 10 hours ago from mobile web

kachwanya Julie Gichuru Declared she is pregnant. for those who have been asking.will give birth in two months time...great
about 10 hours ago from web

mountainous Wow! Julie Gichuru announces she is indeed Pregnant Live on Citizen Live. I guess @RafikiKenya was right all along. congrats to the Gichurus
about 10 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop

nzembi Julie Gichuru announces she's pregnant on Live News.
about 10 hours ago from mobile web

mountainous @ek13photos you can critique Julie Gichuru's polka dot dress on Citizen Sunday Live LOL!
about 11 hours ago from Seesmic Desktop

RafikiKenya @Shiko_Msa Thanks for confirming my view on Julie. The works are now already in their last stages (read afterplay)
11:17 PM Aug 23rd from web

RafikiKenya @ruatek Thanks for supporting my old view that Julie is full.
11:15 PM Aug 23rd from web

Shiko_Msa @rafikikenya before you get down to the works. Julie. Looks it yeah. But she can still do away with the odd dressing. Now go.
10:57 PM Aug 23rd from mobile web

ruatek @Rafikikenya it's a known fact julie is exptn a 5th..kudos
8:57 PM Aug 23rd from mobile web

RafikiKenya @dnyaga Good, I hope you will agree with me. She is pregnant, but it wasn't me #juliegichuru
8:46 PM Aug 23rd from web

RafikiKenya I hope today you will all agree with me that Julie Gichuru is indeed pregnant. #citizentv
8:44 PM Aug 23rd from web

RafikiKenya @emugendi Woman's intuition ??? Yet, I guessed it first #juliefull Was I born in the wrong body maybe?
9:51 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to emugendi

RafikiKenya @Shiko_Msa Do you really think it is just the dress? #juliefull
9:29 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to Shiko_Msa

RafikiKenya @bobui Depending on the positions they use, I think it could work #JULIEnaLOUIS But how would the baby look really?
9:28 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to bobui

RafikiKenya @bobui LOL Yes it could be Louis Otieno ! But what a baby would that give? No, let me not think about it.
9:17 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to bobui

RafikiKenya @bobui @willpress So at least we are 3 already who can agree that Julie is pregnant. Now, next question: who did it? Her husband? Again?
9:10 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to bobui

RafikiKenya @bobui According to my sixth sense, she is pregnant #juliegichuru
9:05 PM Aug 2nd from web in reply to bobui

RafikiKenya I couldn't hear Julie, but she looks very pregnant
8:58 PM Aug 2nd from web

The early announcement of Julie's pregnancy on Twitter reminded me of some nice infographics from Samuel Degremont on information flows before the Twitter era and after Twitter. I am copying these graphics below.

Before Twitter

After Twitter

As you can see from the graphs, Twitter has changed the flow of information and news quite drastically. What do you think?

Apart from following @RafikiKenya on Twitter and the usual baby bump, here are some other signs to look out for if you want to know whether a woman is pregnant or not:

• Sudden emotion swings (although women also tend to have these even when they are not pregnant, so maybe they just occur more frequently).
• Fatigue.
• Weight gain.
• Sleeping problems.
• Morning sickness; also certain smells make her feel sick.
• Drinking less alcohol or no alcohol at all.
• Urinating more frequently.
• Some women get a faint dark or red line from their belly button down.
• Sore breasts, bigger areola as well as tender nipples which may be darker in color than usual.

Any others I am forgetting?

Oh, and please don't ask me which of these signs showed me that Julie is pregnant.